A woman’s concern about the therapy practices of her husband has led to outrage on social media. The post was posted on Reddit’s famous “Am I the A**hole?” forum, the article has received more than 18000 votes in the time since being made public yesterday, and 3700 comments.
The husband’s behavior was described by his wife, seemed to raise alarms in the minds of readers, particularly when compared with the opinions and recommendations of mental health professionals.
Self-described as a 34-year-old woman Her husband recently took her to therapy, a decision she completely supported.
Although he didn’t have a specific triggers that drove him to begin therapy, she explained that “he feels too overwhelmed with work” and “wanted to let off some steam…I 100% encouraged him and said ‘go for it.'”
She also said she knew that spouse “works a demanding job” however she decided to not elaborate further, since she didn’t “want him to be judged for it.”
But, when he started therapy, things became more complex. “These therapy sessions have been happening for a period of [three] months,” she explained she noted that he’ll typically “have [two] sessions in just one day,” often per week, and that they occur online, in their bedrooms.
“He’d stay in the bedroom for hours on end preventing me from coming in,” she wrote. “I’m talking [three] to [four] hrs a day.”
When Santa Close The Door came into their bedroom for therapy “the laptop [got] slammed shut.”
“He told me if I walk in one more time he will take matters into his own hands,” she said.
The dispute was escalating on the day before writing, the redditor ran into an emergency that required her to get something out of their bedroom, while her husband was at the center of an argument. “I kept knocking but he didn’t answer so I [walked] in quietly,” she wrote. But, after doing so, “he immediately [shut] his laptop” and appeared “enraged.”
“He gets off his chair and starts lashing out,” she wrote. “I get out and he locks the door…Out of respect I waited till his session was over and started arguing with him about how utterly bad it was of him to lock me out of the room.”
“He said he had to lock me out because of my barging/snooping and continuous disrespect of his privacy. I…said he needed to start having his therapy sessions somewhere else since it’s not okay for him to keep the bedroom busy for 4hrs.”
The woman reportedly told him that the therapy could be done from any room in their two-bedroom home or even from a place outside of the home. “He shamed me and said this is his apartment too,” she wrote.
In the end, the Redditor asked: “Am I wrong for asking him that?”
In the comments readers came to defend the woman. In particular, many people who claim to represent mental health experts claimed that the volume of what they claim to be “therapy” described by the woman should be a cause for concern. One commenter wrote: “Hi therapist here. It is absolutely not normal to have 3-4 hours of session a day. No therapist would allow that.”
“Unless someone is in an active crisis, I basically never see any of my clients more than once a week,” one counselor. Another therapist said to the idea that “often insurance won’t allow you to bill for multiple therapy sessions in the same day.”
These claims are confirmed by experts. As a licensed counselor for marriage and families, Saniyyah Mayo told Huffpost in the year 2021: “A person can have a 4-hour session but they are not going to reflect and digest everything that was discussed during the session.”
“The client may think it was a good session, but too much information would be covered for them to completely digest it and benefit from it,” she said. “Giving people increments of information and allowing them to process it in sections is good for the best possible outcome for treatment.”
In addition, according to fellow therapist Becky Stuempfig the same article, “it could feel traumatic to a client to sit with their pain for an extended period of time.”
This is why many of the commenters have suggested that the husband may not really taking part in therapy during these long sessions in their bedroom, a belief that is supported by his bizarre behavior such as closing his laptop when his wife came in the room.
A lot of people, for instance, believed that he was in a relationship with his spouse, and perhaps spending the time with only Fans as well as “tipping cam girls for hours on end.”
“Or he’s in a cult or something,” wrote another user. “Gambling or porn addiction, online gaming. Could be anything you can do on a phone, really.”
Some others advised the Redditor to look over his credit and bank card statements, as well as his computer’s history.
“There’s literally zero chance that he’s doing 4 hours of therapy a day. He’s lying to you and until he comes clean, you don’t have a marriage,” wrote one person in a comment.